1. |
me and everyone but you
01:39
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I am burning faster than my friends' cigarettes. We exploit picture frames for sake of killing time. Let's be misplaced from the world we live in and find new ground to sink our feet into.
And when we reach that place the dirt will dig into the soles of our shoes and every tree will be holy, and never lose it's leaves. The sky will have no shape or color, and the oceans will drown out all the useless noise.
But for now, I am burning faster than my friends' cigarettes. We exploit picture frames for sake of killing time.
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2. |
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Where is the morning light? I woke up and the glass nearly shattered. Each passing moment the weight grows in my chest, and words bleed out when I have nothing left to say. No one's laughing here, I wouldn't expect them to. Not everything's a joke, because that attitude will only get you so far. Until you are suffocating yourself inside a pillowcase, waiting for the break of dawn. Turns out, it was there all along. All along with yourself, notice finer details and linear space. Ask what's missing, tell me what's missing from your life. There's a gaping hole in my future, and no right way to meet in the middle with anyone.
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3. |
hands on my feet
01:24
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I've got these hands on my feet, and that's not the weirdest thing you've seen. Haven't been home in the last few days, back in my room I feel misplaced. It's not hard to replace, it's not hard to erase these bedsheets, your aroma stains, and I still don't feel okay.
"How are you today?" she says despondently.
I'm smiling desperately, "I feel fine."
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4. |
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Don't tell them anything, they will use it against you. So keep your mouth shut while you drown without control. Oh control, wouldn't you like to, wouldn't you want to control?
If you will then I will cross the state lines.
Just because you do not acknowledge it does not mean it does not exist. You'll always hear what you want to hear. And without acknowledgement the vomit on your shirt will only serve as a reminder of what you could never learn.
If you will then I will cross the state lines. Say when you'll say so.
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I misused all the holy words after reading all the holy books and am convinced i'm the devil seeking acknowledgement to feel less lonely. We should be whole again. So if you will then I will cross the state lines. Say when you'll say so and I will do so. Hit her in the face and I will follow suit. I am the creator and I hate you.
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5. |
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I thought I saw your face in a passing glance, so I turned away. Most days I'd rather not see your face.
And I will tattoo "i exist" across my forehead so everyone else can see blessing in ink. And I will be grateful and no longer dreaming.
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6. |
no priority
01:18
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I like to think you're okay now and just a girl no one talks about, at least when they're around me. And we can both be new, as long as you want me the way I want you.
Get over yourself. Then maybe one day you'll be new, and more than you are you. I'll assume you're okay now and just a girl no one talks about, at least when they're around me. You're no priority.
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7. |
333/paper brain
04:27
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This is the only song that's ever mattered. This is the last song I'll ever write. Good morning, did you sleep last night? Because recent events dictate otherwise. Are you better yet? Or at least bettering yourself? Do you like what you see? A cocoon of who you used to be.
These are the streets where you recognized yourself. And I feel sorry for you and yourself. Your perfect teeth meant nothing when you couldn't come clean. You don't mean anything to anyone but me. And no one cares about your perfect hair but me. Your blonde hair doesn't belong there, but I like it anyways. I want to justify your self worth and tear down your confidence, because I'm a bad fucking person.
There's no language for us to speak, no language for us to meet. To meet in the middle would be ideal, but no one meets in the middle I feel. So here's to the nights I felt alive and here's to the nights I wanted to die, in a basement room with all of you. It's unfortunate we live our lives between these state lines. You never knew where I drew the line. To be fair, I never drew the line.
I kept writing songs but no one sung along and I'm sorry I never got over myself. It's so easy to get sick of yourself when you're trying so hard to not try at all. Sit in your room alone. The bottle kissed your lips and I was afraid of what you might say when you're too far gone.
The bottle kissed your lips and I was afraid of the state lines writing songs about me, because I never got over myself in time to watch you leave your cocoon happily. This is the only song that's ever mattered to me.
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8. |
percocet
01:31
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And I like to think that if I had never picked up a book, I wouldn't know any sad words.
And I like to think that if I had never picked up a pencil, I wouldn't be inclined to write how I feel.
And I like to think that if I had never picked up a guitar, I wouldn't play these songs.
But it's not that simple, it's never that simple.
Most days, I feel fine. But some days, I feel crippled by something worse than depression. It's not like your sessions of anxiety, that we won't acknowledge because I'm going to college and should have grown out of this already. I'm sorry.
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9. |
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Thank you Jeff.
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Personality Disorders New York
Songs to fall asleep to.
Bedroom recordings; May 2013-January 2016.
Personality Disorders recommends:
You in the Heart of Everyone
by Fear Not Ourselves Alone
If you enjoyed PD, you might like my current project that picks up where PD left off. Fear Not Ourselves Alone is a band about everything you've never said outloud.
go to albumIf you like Personality Disorders, you may also like:
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Oakland singer-songwriter honors her Haitian heritage with five R&B spirituals overflowing with radiance, fueled by her soft, angelic voice.
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A Mutable Feast or: The Ghost of a Flea
by John Donne
Lovely folk-based music with soft corners and dreamlike melodies, full of fairy-tale-like enchantment.
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Ian Russell took isolation as a chance to get closer with his guitar, resulting in this lovely set of meditative acoustic instrumentals.
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