Displacement: Extra Songs

by Personality Disorders

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about

Each of these songs was recorded for a different compilation, I decided to put them on a single release as to put them all in one place.

"expressionlessness" was recorded for a Flaming Biscuit Records compilation:
flamingbiscuitrecords.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-all-a-flossed-generation-a-flaming-biscuit-records-rrrrrevival-compilation

"i am not afraid of ghosts" was recorded for the Halloweenie compilation:
ishani.bandcamp.com/album/halloweenie

"when" was recorded for T​(​w​)​o (H​)​our Comp Fo​(​u​)​r:
musicisreallydumb.bandcamp.com/album/t-w-o-h-our-comp-fo-u-r

"girl" was recorded for Citizen of the World's 2 HR COMPILATION:
wearecotw.bandcamp.com/album/2-hr-compilation

"...but i was young and stupid then" was recorded for a Ferguson Charity Compilation:
fergusoncharitycompilation.bandcamp.com/releases

"shit talker" was recorded for Funeral Sounds's compilation for Casa Ruby:
funeralsounds.bandcamp.com/album/funeral-sounds-presents-a-compilation-for-casa-ruby

credits

released January 8, 2016

Thank you to all the folks who let me be on their comps. Recording one-off songs was a lot of fun.

Ben Curttright of Naturally the foundation will bear your expenses sang on "...but i was young and stupid then" and I love hearing our voices together so much.
Alex Johnson of dæphne sang on "shit talker" and their voice is a grace on my existence.

The album art is by my friend Alex Dunn, I am in your debt. Thank you pal.

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Personality Disorders New York

Songs to fall asleep to.

Bedroom recordings; May 2013-January 2016.

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Track Name: expressionlessness
In my genes I have my father's depression and my mother's anxiety. These diseases blend together the way my parents did, unevenly. At times I am overwhelmingly happy around beautiful people and other times I am as ugly as I feel. When I am ugly, it is called expressionlessness.

Like my father, depression cuts into me slowly like knives that are sharpened to get the point across or an endless ether of unfulfilled relationships with people I cannot trust, no matter how much I may want to. It's a quiet sort of sadness on my father's face that won't leave mine alone, silent acceptance to seem less unbecoming. I share varicose veins and I plan to leave this world the same way I came into it, screaming out of irritability, for the sole sake of irritability and nothing else.

As for my mother, we are both anxious messes and as a result are manipulative people. I cannot let anyone live their life unless I specifically know how they are living their life. I so deeply engrave myself into the air bubble of the lives of those I love and I take and take and take and take until there is no more oxygen, ultimately suffocating love for a quieter space. I share eating habits and a distraught sense of self due to both of us being abused at young age by someone we didn't know well enough. Never fully in moments, hours will pass like seconds and simultaneously we will complain about all we have to do.

But nothing will ever finish. We will always be the same people, meant to spend our lives repeating the same mistakes and falsely labeling it as growth.

I am the blend. I have expressionlessness.
Track Name: i am not afraid of ghosts
I am not afraid of ghosts. I am not afraid of the things that haunt my head. You are a ghost now, but you don't haunt my head.

And you don't know how to be so lonely this Halloween.
Track Name: when
I'm gaining weight and losing time over someone who cannot find the time to talk to me.

"But it's not your fault" I wrote almost a year ago and I stuck to it. "But it's not your fault" I wrote almost a year ago and I am sticking to it. So don't go telling everyone you know I'm an asshole because I tried to talk to you about potential abuse. I am not over this.

I'm gaining weight and losing time over someone who will pay me no peace of mind, or a life to call mine, or anything of that kind. So say when you want to and we will talk about it.

Because I gained all this weight from holding in the things I couldn't say. And I still feel guilty about it.
Track Name: girl
come find me
you know me
you want me
but you don't know

you were a girl but i was too

(say when you want to
say how and i will do)
Track Name: ...but i was young and stupid then
Watch your life pass you by, you are the one who passed me by but I’m sure you didn’t mean to. Look at me I’m a nervous wreck in front of all the ones I love. You are the one I love, I’m sure.

But again, it’s not your fault. I’m so scared of what will happen.
When I used to love your face I was never so afraid of the consequences of my actions, but I was young and stupid then. But I am so much older now, I am so much healthier now, and I will never blame you for this again, I will never make that mistake again.

But again, it’s not your fault. I’m so scared of what could still happen.
Track Name: shit talker
Coming back down after staring at the ground. You look so much different right now. I find it hard to trust you, not because I don't want to, just because you swore you'd never lie.

Just like I never told a lie when I didn't know your name. I was too much of an asshole then but in your eyes I didn't exist.

Talking shit about you while always thinking about you, I guess I haven't changed much at all. I find it hard to move on because everyone relies on rumors left for dead last Fall.

So who's talking shit about you now?
Like I did back in high school
When I didn't know your name
I was barely even there
But in your eyes I didn't exist

It's so hard to watch you smile like it's so hard to be okay for a while.
(Will today feel the same with no one to blame for my inability to move on? I get so tired of your name)
(The weight I've gained is yet to be lost. My veins are heavy from carrying you around)