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  • Company Cassette (Also works as a professional level coaster)
    Cassette + Digital Album

    Company by Personality Disorders on blue cassettes with sad faces! Out of 20.

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1.
We are in your parents' house and the living room is quiet. Pictures of youthful complexions stain your living room. The blinds keep out sunlight and you tire of watching the television turned on. The couch is tacky and uncomfortable like the mess of bills that litter the dining room table. When I sit next to you the universe feels empty. Words pulsate around the room and become flesh. No one knows what to say. Recollection of your bedroom and how it looked more like you, or what I imagined to be you. You are succinct in action and I thought there would never be anything more than this. Together we work out the question of our ages, the cold does nothing to help. Watching each other undress to the tune of "why should anyone give a shit" and the sunlight pours in to hide your face. I didn't feel like seeing you today under my breath and we leave for a dream I have where I am hitting you and hurting you and someone is screaming and your voice is in distinct contrast to how I feel as my fist makes contact with your face. I hate the way you look. Your face is damaged and in another dream you are sitting next to me on a train. The seats are orange, and the rails are direct. The motion syncs with the words that are now entering conversation. Apologizing to a blank stare, I dig my head into your shoulder and then your chest and fall into the empty universe of your body's anatomy and float by the dark spaces that hide the parts of you no one knows about. No one knows but me. Skin turns white and leaks into the carpet of your living room where the television is on and there is a movie playing with no clear protagonist and your mother's voice fills my ears. It's sweet and sincere and reminiscent of simpler times. Long for affection and shut your eyes, look at me when I speak to you. You're the filthy shadow following me, and I wish you were just an unclean memory. But you're not and nothing changes. Nothing ever changes.
2.
I'm going to school and the sun rises around 5 am, my life is back to normal and I am glad. I'm appreciative of the scenery and am in love with the beauty in everything in my life. My body wakes up now at an appropriate time and I don't think about you daily. I no longer look at the moon and both my eyes they close in unison.
3.
4.
company 03:51
You were courageous but not curious enough to investigate my past, those things hidden behind my laugh and what they really mean. Delicate and fractured, your toes in the shoes you bought yourself, we're all so proud of you. Keep spitting words into my ears, they cut me like sharp knives. Tell me the definition of "you" and explain to me how I'm the scum of your life. You treat me right and I treat you right, but it's not serious because no one said it's serious at all. Hurt me and make me feel like however you want me to feel like. I'm fucking scum and undeserving of company likes yours, company that I'd adore. So forget what your father knows and I'm sorry your mother quietly offends you. I know I'm never there, but this time make me hurt. Make me hurt like the way you felt. When I'm with you I don't feel so bad about everything that's ever happened in my life. Company come back.
5.
strain 01:52
Rot my teeth to spend time with you It's drizzling out and we can take our clothes off Bite my neck and spit the aftertaste into my mouth Wishing we could be more than this Strain myself over nothing Strain myself over you Strain myself over the thought of you Put back on your clothes and leave me alone You're more than associated triggers but you beg to differ Strain the steps you move forward, linger the steps you take back Hate yourself, just for now, and hope it doesn't last

about

Company came about as a followup to "Party" (an old PD release) which I guess in a sense it is. Party was really disorganized and I didn't know what I was doing, while Company is much more reserved although I'm still not sure of what I'm doing. It's as if to say the party is over and your nights are best spent with the company who stayed behind to watch over you. No matter how hard you try/tried to push them away, they're still there in one way, or another. Whether you like it or not. Thank you.

credits

released December 23, 2013

Thank you Natalie Prahst for singing on track two, you've put so much time into this project and I owe you so many hugs.
Thank you Marykate Foley for taking the photo that became the Company artwork, I owe you a hug for sure. Find more of her photography at: marykatefoley.22slides.com
Thank you Mark Garza for leaving me the voicemail used on track three and for positively affecting my life.
Thank you Zachary Tuimil, Rebekah Hack, Daniel Marino, and Christopher Martinez for the relentless support.
Thank you for listening.

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Personality Disorders New York

Songs to fall asleep to.

Bedroom recordings; May 2013-January 2016.

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